


EXO-Carnal Short Stories

by asari



Series: Carnal Series [2]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - MAMA (Music Video), Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, M/M, Mystery, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9259463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asari/pseuds/asari
Summary: A collection of side short stories based on my other story (Carnal). I wanted to take some time and focus on the side characters and their background stories - so some of these will just be moments of their past or time together.After every couple of chapters, I'll add a side story here based on one of the ships. If there are couples you'd like to read more about, I will be taking suggestions/requests <3.Please do check out the original story (Carnal), if you haven't already!!! :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All Baekhyun wanted was a friend, so why was keeping one so hard?
> 
> This story is told in Baek's POV. Enjoy!

* * *

**ORIGIN**

_Kris x Baek_

* * *

 

 **.BIRTH.**   

I _t is told that I hardly shed a tear when they took me from my mother’s arms. Maybe because I was too young then, to understand that her weeping face would forever remain as my last memories of her. Or maybe what they said about me is true - that I was born without a heart, without the ability to truly feel loss._

_I was the illegitimate child of some unknown soldier and a farmer's daughter. I remember nothing of my birth father, only the faint scent of tobacco that encased his shirt every time he passed by. Eventually, he stopped coming and my memories of him faded. My mother was an outcast - shunned for her affair with the man. I remember the way she would look at me - the shame she felt for I was a constant reminder of all the things that were taken from her. Of the life she could have had._

_It wasn't until the age of 2 that my mother noticed that I was different and she grew wary of me. She would leave me for hours, alone in the dark. I never knew where she disappeared to - just that she would return without a word. As if I didn't exist. I remember calling her name over and over without so much as a response. I remember curling in front of the fire, relishing in the only warmth I had in my life._

_I never understood it then - why she feared me so or why she cried the day the soldiers took me. Maybe a part of me hoped that she would fight for me - that someday she would search for me._

 

_At the age of 3, I was taken to Renfell, a training compound for Balkan soldiers. It was there where they taught me that pain was simply a trait that bound human weakness - it was there that I truly learned what it meant to surpass human emotions. For months, I was held to a certain measure - under constant supervision and scrutiny - a world of order and mindless actions that were ingrained into my bones._

_They didn't care of my young age for they told me I was special - that I carried a gene within me that they wished to unlock._

_This was the only reason I was taken - so they could study me, could form me into a weapon._

_There was never any sympathy. Not even from the nurses that tended to my wounds._

_For weeks, my only contact with the outside world was through them - it was the only world I was beginning to know._

 

_At the age of 5, I learned that I could no longer go against an order -  they had offered me enough leniency they said. Nor could I roam casually with the rest of the residents in the compound._

_I didn’t understand then, why my world was slowly drowning in silence._

 

_There was an exception, though - in the form of a certain doctor who always seemed to have time to check on me. At first, I ignored his overly-friendly smiles and cautious efforts to talk to me. But, after his fifth visit, I bravely asked his name to which he replied that he was called Joonmyun._

_From time to time, I would question him to fulfill my curiosity - about why I was never allowed to leave, if I was truly a prisoner or why there were never any other children there. Sometimes he would nod, reassuring me I would understand in time, and other times he would frown - quick to changing the subject._

 

_Truthfully, I never really liked that doctor - I simply indulged in conversation because those were the only times I could talk freely - the only times I didn’t feel so lonely._

 

_It wasn’t until my 6th birthday that I finally realized why I was forbidden to interact with others._

 

_I had wandered out of my cabin at night - escaping the watchful eye of the guards and sneaking into the rice paddies. I only wanted to see the sunset - Joonmyun had marveled that it was one scene I had to see. I never expected to run into anyone else - especially children of my age, playing in the fields._

 

_It was too much - the excitement and opportunity of finally making friends - so I rushed over and asked them if I could join. But I could see it then, the realization in their faces as they looked back at me in disgust - I could see it then, the fear lodged in their eyes as they suddenly picked up loose rocks and hurled them at me._

_And as I ran away - back to my world of silence - I could hear it, the names they were calling me._

 

_But I didn’t understand it then, the reason behind their words._

 

_The next morning, after hearing of my midnight escapade, I was informed of my transfer to Gaamor._

_Joonmyun tried to plead my case, pushing at excuses of me being an overly curious child, but that didn’t seem to phase the commanding officer. And so I bid my only friend if you wish to call him that; I wished Joonmyun goodbye - confusing his downcast eyes for sympathy._

 

_It took me a few years to comprehend his expression then and now I know that he truly feared for me - for my future._

_And that was the last I saw of the man._

 

* * *

 

 **.FATHER.**   

_Renfell was a dark place that I gladly walked away from; I saw it as an opportunity to escape that prison - to finally gain some ounce of freedom. But as the rumors say - the darkness was unwilling to let me go._

_For Gaamor was a different beast altogether - a raging dragon that swallowed me whole and kept me locked in its grasp._

 

_It was there that I met the man I would soon call father - the man who cursed me into darkness and saved me from my loneliness. They all feared him - the officers, the guards, the maids, the caretakers. I could see their fingers trembling in his presence._

 

_The first few days, I feared him too - his eyes glowed a frightening red, his aged face marked in battle scars and lips eternally cast into a disapproving frown._

_But in time, fear grew to love, because within the confines of the castle - he gave me my freedom, and so I learned to look past the images the villagers painted of him._

 

_I didn’t understand then, that my love for him would blind me - would make me do such terrible things. I didn’t understand that the castle was to be my cage._

 

_Day after day, I searched through the stone walls - seeking to unearth some secret about Gaamor._

 

_There was a night where I found my father’s dungeon - where he kept his ghastly beasts, his Karnals. They bathed in large pools of thick black liquid, that I was told later mimicked the comforts of a mother’s womb. It both supplemented them with the energy to live and kept them from losing their sanity. It was a vivid sight - one I can probably never erase from my mind. I could see why everyone kept away from the dungeon._

 

_But unlike the soldiers, I did not fear them - for I sympathized with them, because as they growled through the barred steel, as their eyes met mine - I only saw a mere reflection of myself._

 

_Father was surprised to learn that I had befriended the beasts - that they followed my every command within a matter of weeks. He was thrilled and granted me permission as their caretaker._

_The guards began to fear me - they whispered that only a demon could control beasts such as these._

_But in fact, I relished the moments I spent with them. Every night, I would sneak down and offer them bits of leftovers - whispering to them of my daily lessons and complaining about my restrictions. For some time, their presence filled in the missing piece in my soul but that too soon faded._

_Because despite the fact that they had stripped me of my humanity, there was still a loneliness that crept into my heart. Father was often away, and I would only have the beasts - the ever silent creatures to keep me company, and so I longed for companionship, for friendship._

 

_It was only after a few months in Gaamor that I learned of the experiments - the wretched things they did to innocent souls. It was far worse than what they did to me in Renfell. The east end of the castle filled the nights with endless screams and cries of tortured beings, and so I avoided it at all costs - going there. But I knew what was going on, though I sought to turn away and ignore it._

 

_Before my 6th birthday, I asked my father if he would grant me a friend - someone with whom I could search the castle with. He smiled, as if he had waited for years for me to ask him that question._

 

_“Are you tired of the beasts?” he questioned._

_“Yes, father.”_

_“Then shall I find you a human friend?”_

_I shook my head - because I knew any mere human would fear me, would be incapable of loving me._

_“No,” I replied, “I want someone like me.”_

_Father nodded as if understanding - the suspicious smile still cast onto his lips._

_“Then I will give you an army.”_

_“An army father?”_

_“Yes, one who will love you no matter what.”_

 

_It was a tantalizing thought - of having friends who would love me despite my flaws, who would look past what Renfell had made me into._

 

_“But will they be my friends, father?”_

_“Yes, they will be your friends, loyal to you till the end of your days.”_

_It was too tempting to refuse - this offer that father had handed me._

_“But first,” father took my hand in his, “we must make you worthy of their love.”_

_“How?” I asked, perplexed at the notion._

_But father simply smiled, pulling me through the halls to the east end of the castle._

 

* * *

 

 **.NAMED.**   

_The east end of the castle was just as I imagined - a place of pain and reckless treatment of the human body._

_Father told me that they had been experimenting for some time in creating others like me - those who held within them an ability unlike others, a mix of breeds that produced powerful results. So far they had been unsuccessful, but they had started to use the information gathered from my tests in Renfell._

_Father joyously took me to an open courtyard with similar dark pools like those of the beasts._

 

_“These are the wombs,” he pointed, “This is where we will take them and brew them so that they become like you.”_

_“Come,” he called, pulling me to the largest pool. I followed silently - watching curiously as the dark liquid rippled as if alive by my presence._

_“Get in”_

_I shook my head, stepping back. “But, won’t it hurt?”_

_It was a mistake on my part, questioning father. And as soon as I saw his face darken in anger, I quickly stepped into the pool - the cool of the liquid drenching my clothes._

_“You need to stay submerged so that the liquid can bind to you - when it clears you can come up.”_

_I nodded, slightly hesitant and confused, but it was not my place...........To question._

 

_As I slowly sunk into the water, submerged fully into the darkness, I could hear my heart pounding. It always scared me, darkness, and though my fear was no longer - there sat a certain uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. I could feel the liquid gliding past my skin - searching every bit of my body as if it was alive._

 

_And then I heard it, a chilling voice filling my mind._

 

_“What is it that you wish, young master?”_

_I wasn’t sure what to reply - who was this woman who spoke so clearly, where was she._

_“Shall I give you what you’ve always wanted? Friends, brothers, loved ones?”_

_I didn’t answer, but at this point, I was unsure of what I was getting myself into._

_“I can feel it,”_ _she continued,_ _“the longing in your heart. And so, I will grant your wish. You will have what you seek but more. You will be blessed with the power, the authority.”_

_I shivered, jerking as I felt a cold touch of hand on my cheek. I struggled but the liquid held me down, restricting my movements_

_“And you shall be the light in the darkness,”_ _she chimed,_ _“Both a beginning and an end, beloved and feared by all those you meet.”_

 

 _“Beloved,”_ _she hummed,_ _“yes that shall be your true name,”_ _she laughed bitterly - her voice slowly fading into oblivion._

 

_And in that moment, my body warmed - my blood boiling, flooding through my veins as pools of light broke through my palms, penetrating the liquid - its color now changing to a clear form._

 

_I gasped, my body dragging out of the pool as my lungs choked in water. I glanced at father, my shoulders shaking from the experience and he simply nodded - walking away and leaving me once again to my own._

 

* * *

 

  **.FRIEND.**   

_It was days before father spoke to me again, and his first words were to inform me that I would have my first friend._

 

_I ran to the east end of the castle, my stomach churning in excitement - my lungs filled with silent screams of joy. The guards turned me to the same pool, gesturing that their new creation was resting there. They stood behind the pillars, feet away from the area - fearful of approaching the pools._

 

_After my experience, I was no longer wary of the pools so I walked up to it - peeking in only to see a form of a body under the liquid._

_It was too dark to see and the curiosity churned within me - what would he look like?_

_My first friend._

 

_It was taking longer than I expected. Father warned me to be patient, but it had been almost a month now with my friend still buried in the pool. It would take time, they told me since the pool had to merge the newly formed powers with the body._

_But I grew restless._

 

_Night after night, I snuck out to the east end of the castle - resting by the pool and talking aimlessly as if my sleeping friend understood me._

 

_“Hi, friend! How is it in there? I hope you are dealing with the darkness better than I did. Is it cold?” I peeked into the water, finger glazing over the top of the pool._

_“When you’re awake, I’ll show you Osteria, it’s my favorite place - father doesn’t let me go, but I’ve found ways to bribe the guards so they let me,” I laughed, relishing in my own genius._

_“Is there a weird woman talking to you in there?,” I lay on the floor, glancing up at the moon, “If she is, don’t be frightened. I wonder who she was. Father says that she is our mother, but I don’t believe that. Her hands were too cold. Mothers have warm hands.....I think. She named me Beloved, can you believe that?” I scrunched my nose, “That’s such a lame name.”_

_“Tell her to give you a better name.............Today I fed the beasts some deer meat, they were really happy. Its sad that father only lets them out once in a while, only for his missions. He won’t let me greet them when they come back though. I wonder why.”_

_I sighed, glancing at the dark liquid. “How long are you going to take? I’m so boooooreeeddddd. Hurry up okay? I really want to play ball, like those kids in the village do. If you don’t know how to, I can teach you, it’s really easy.”_

_“Do you like the moon? I think you will once you see it. It really is gorgeous. I wish I could ask father to capture it for me. Do you think he would? Maybe if I pass all my lessons.............;” I shrugged._

 

_"...........Okay,” I got up, frowning, “I’ll come back tomorrow. I hope you’re awake by then.”_

 

_And my conversations with my sleeping friend went on like that, night after night._

 

 

_The end of the third week, my father sent word that my friend was finally awake. As quickly as the first time, I rushed to the east end of the castle - my palms sweaty, hair and clothes unkempt, but I didn’t care, I was ready to see him._

 

_The first time I laid eyes on him, I was mesmerized. It was astounding - his ice blue eyes changed colors like crystals under light. He stood by the pool, clothed in a fitting soldier’s outfit - something my father had ordered for days in advance._

_As thrilled as I was, I began to feel nervous. What if he didn’t like me, as I am? I stepped back cautiously before he could see me. But it was too late, his gaze met mine and I stood frozen in my tracks._

 

_“Go,” Father ordered my friend, “Go and greet him.”_

_My friend nodded, walking swiftly to my front - bowing slightly._

_“He..hello........;” I stuttered, gulping._

_My friend smiled, a brilliant smile. One I craved for the rest of my days._

 

_“Beloved,” my friend whispered, bowing again as he took my hand - no fear or judgment in his eyes._

 

_And that was it, I knew then that I had finally found it - a friend for life._

 

* * *

 

 **.MOON.**   

_We wandered the castle halls day after day, whispering secrets to each other and pranking the guards._

_He was ever silent, my friend, Kris - it was a name I picked for him the instant we grew close. But sometimes it was difficult to keep conversation with him. He was always quiet - more than I liked - but I enjoyed the way his head would tilt ever so slightly as he listened to me rant or the way his eyes twinkled every time they met mine._

 

_From time to time, father would call for him - sending him on missions, but I was never told of what or why. And when I questioned Kris, he always shook it off._

_“I’m making the world a safer place for you,” he would say._

_It was hard to understand what he meant, but as loyal as he was to me - he was all the more to my father or maybe it was out of fear that he followed orders, I am not sure._

 

_I spent every waking moment at his side, and father warned me not to get too close - too attached, but I saw no reason not to._

_“Sometimes friendship can change,” father would say, “there are different types of love, Orixe.”_

_I hated that name. Now father would call me that - it was a name given to me to represent authority and rank. I_ _t was a name that Kris was forced to call me and so, I hated it because it sought to separate us - to make us different._

 

_After months of different missions, I began to see a certain change in Kris. He would seclude himself on certain nights - his words short and heavy. He never wanted to talk, not after a mission. But he never explained it to me or maybe he was afraid to._

 

_The curious being that I was, I waited once - hiding near the gates, awaiting his return, but I regretted it the moment I laid eyes on him. As the large gates opened wide, Kris emerged - his outfit drenched in red, eyes blank and expressionless._

_I knew then, what father was making him do and so I ran - because I was too blind then and I didn’t want to accept it, that father was a cruel man._

 

 

_That same night, I found Kris sitting by the dark pools, his feet sunk into the water and eyes closed. I sat next to him, our shoulders bumping against each other and breaths moving in unison._

 

_“I’m sorry,” I murmured after a while._

_“For what?”_

_“For the missions.”_

 

_Kris turned, his hand slowly curling over mine._

 

_“Everything I do, I do for you.”_

_I shook my head. Because I knew what he meant, but I hated it. And I began to wonder, was he loyal to me because he wanted to or because he was created that way?_

_“Maybe it would have been better if I never asked for it ........A friend.”_

_“Do you really mean that?”_

_“No..........But I regret it, bringing you into this kind of world.”_

 

_Kris sighed, his face lingering closer to mine._

 

_“I don’t,” he whispered, “If being alive means spending every day with you then I would give up anything for that.”_

_“You don’t mean that.”_

_“I do.”_

 

 

 

_I nodded, glancing up at the glow of the moon. In truth, I was frightened of Kris's loyalty to me - what if we had met as strangers......would he still love me then?_

 

_“You’re right.”_

_“Hm?” I glanced quizzically at Kris._

_“It is gorgeous, the moon ..................... but you failed to mention something else”_

_“What?”_

_“That you are far more beautiful”_

 

_I gulped, my heart gaining speed as Kris leaned closer._

_Was this the different love that father mentioned? Because if it was, I didn’t mind it - this feeling._

_Kris drew closer, his hand clasped over mine. I could feel my skin prick under his touch. It burned - the heat spreading quickly all over me. I could feel his breath near mine, his eyelashes fluttering against my cheeks._

 

_“Beloved,” he whispered._

 

_He was the only one that I allowed to call me by that name - the only one with whom it felt right._

_And the rest of my body crumbled because I knew then that it was different. That we were no longer simply just friends and my doubts jilted inside me. My nightmares forming itself one by one._

 

_And as his lips slowly pushed into mine, I ignored the plummeting in my stomach and pulled back - unsure of what it all meant._

 

_Kris smiled, a sad and distant smile, but he spoke nothing of it. My hand still remained enclosed in his._

 

_“I’m sorry,” he finally spoke - slowly creeping back to his usual silent state._

 

_But I didn’t reply because nothing made sense then, and it was my fear that drove me away from him._

_Would it change everything if we were to be more? Was that truly what he wanted or something just designed within him?_

 

 

 

_The days that followed, I began to spend less time with Kris - mostly because I was fearful of losing our friendship but also because I wasn’t sure if I wanted it - someone blindly devoted to me. I could see it affecting him; I could see that he hated it. But as always, he never questioned my judgment._

 

_After some time, I made my decision. I walked into the throne room - determined to request that father stop the missions and remove my bind with Kris. I wanted our friendship to be true - not bound by some contractual obligation._

_But father had his own plans, as always._

 

_“Welcome, Orixe,” he greeted, arms wide, “Today is the day of awakening.”_

_“What do you mean father?”_

_“Ah, today, my little Orixe,” He grabbed my shoulders, “Today you will have the rest of your army.”_

 

_And at the news, my heart dropped. Because I had made a mistake - a mistake that I could no longer back away from._

 

_And I will always regret it - not going against my father's wishes._

 

_For as I walked at my father’s side to the east end of the castle - I finally understood the meaning of the words those boys called me in Renfell._

 

_Because these years have led me to believe that maybe they were right -_

 

 _I am a monster................_  

 


	2. Sehun x Luhan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is an unbinding force - it tears you slowly from the inside out until there is nothing much left of you but your single connection to a person that bound your soul.
> 
> Love is an unbinding force, but then so is guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been thinking about how to fit in Hunhan's story line and I just haven't found a good point yet for them. They haven't interacted as much in Carnal (barely) as I was even thinking of not including their part. But Hunhan deserves their moment so for those of you who have been curious about their past, here it is.
> 
> In terms of time scale, this takes place after Baek's supposed "death" and before Kyungsoo was taken.
> 
> Written in maknae's unsent letters to Lu.

* * *

 

**FOR LOVE AND GUILT**

_Sehun x Luhan_

* * *

 

**.RENFELL.**

_My dear friend Lulu,_

_It has been exactly 6 months and 12 days since I last heard from you. Will I ever see you again?_

_The longer I am away from you, the more uneasy I am of what is to come._

_How long will the castle gates remain sealed? Is the King keeping you from meeting with me?_

_Ever since the announcement of Orixe's death, I've asked permission to enter Gaamor, but every morning they turn me away. Is it true, Lulu, that you don't want to see me? Is it true that you hate me as they say? I don't believe it, not until I hear it from your lips._

_The villagers say the castle has been cursed ever since his death. The King's silence frightens them, but they say that they feel comforted from the Zero's disappearance. They celebrated that night, you know, cheering that the King's monster was finally defeated. But they never truly knew Orixe, not in the way you described him to me._

_It angers me, Lulu, of how little they think of you - of all of you. I know how much Orixe meant to you; I always knew. He held more worth in your heart than I ever did, and it scares me to think of what you have become without him._

_The rumors of his death have taken an obnoxious and lengthy spin now. Some say that rebels found him alone and took their revenge against the King. Others say that he was engaged in fierce battle with neighboring soldiers, and was killed honorably._

_Is death honorable? Has it ever been?_

_I am confused, Lulu, and your disappearance only adds to my worries. I need to know that you are okay, I need to see that his death hasn't taken away your will to live. Can you not give me that?_

 

_Yours,_

_A simple soldier._

 

* * *

 

**.OSTERIA.**

_My dear friend Lulu,_

_I was honestly surprised when you sent word to me, and even more when you asked me to meet you at Osteria._

_Seven months have passed now, and you cannot imagine how nervous I was to finally see you again._

_I must have imagined the scene in my head countless times, a thousand or was it a million times? I'm sure I added to that count as I walked into the church that night. I can hardly recall the beauty of Osteria, but you Lulu, I can never remove the image of you from my mind._

_I knew it would be different, Lulu. Death changes everyone; I, for one, can attest to that. Silently, I had prepared myself for the change - to see you in that way. But, in truth, my heart dropped when I saw how frail you looked under the dim moonlight. I was not ready for that._

_Did it affect you that much, Lulu? To lose him like that?_

_Those ten minutes of silence between the two of us felt like days, but every time your eyes met mine, I could see how broken you had become. And I knew then that I had to take you away from Gaamor because that castle was eating away your soul._

_I knew you were trying to be strong when you began to talk about him - I know you thought I wouldn't notice, but I could hear it - how your voice would shake every time you uttered his name. And when I held you in my arms, I realized then that I could never take his place - I could never be to you what he was._

_But if there was anything I could do, it was to make sure that you would never have to face this kind of sadness again._

_Orixe was no longer alive and there was no one to bind you to the King as before, and Kris was still in training to take over, so it was the perfect chance. The perfect time when everyone else would be distracted with the pack of new soldiers and the day of Ranking._

_And I meant it, Lulu, when I promised to run away with you. I meant it._

_And I promise that I will never leave you until we're both old and wrinkly and you grow sick of me._

_I would do anything to see you happy again._ _Anything._

 

_Yours,_

_A Simple Soldier_

 

* * *

**.RENFELL.**

_My dear friend Lulu,_

_The plan is set and everything is going according to plan. I've bribed a few guards, so we should be able to pass the gates easily, and with the cover of the night, we should pass the village without notice._

_I know you are scared, Lulu, but I am here, so please don't worry. Nothing will happen to you, I will make sure of it._

_I've arranged a place for us to rest once we reach Alor, and from there we shall go to Manoa. I've heard that the quaint village is untouched by the King, and rumors say that once we pass the Black Mountains we will be beyond his grasp._

_I'll take you away, Lulu, far away where he can never hurt you._

_My heart pounds night after night. I can't wait to see you smile again - to help you find peace._

_I wish that the day of Ranking comes sooner._

_So, I'll meet you in Osteria as planned, Lulu._

_Until then, trust me._

 

_Yours,_

_A simple soldier._

 

* * *

 

**.GAAMOR.**

_My dear friend Lulu,_

_We have been discovered._

_I was called to the castle today, well, more like forced to meet with the King. He is as frightening as you described him, and I couldn't help but hate him for everything he has put you through._

_I am afraid Lulu. He has more power over you than I ever imagined. He is as cruel and ruthless as they say._

_Will you hate me? After you learn of what I have done?_

_I know you will because I broke my promise to you._

_But he knew, Lulu. He knew everything._

_And it was all I could do to keep you safe._

_It was the hardest decision I ever made, but he gave me no choice. He knew from the start that things would go his way._

_We were so naive Lulu. I was naive to think that I could escape his grasp. I was naive to think that I had the strength to protect you._

_It was your life, your precious life. And all I had to do was keep away from you._

_He would send me to Renfell and block any attempts that you would make to see me._

_I couldn't imagine it, Lulu, never seeing you again._

_But it was your life._

_And I want you to live on, because I know someday you will have the strength to break the bind yourself. And someday you will have your freedom._

_I will make sure of it._

_I promised you didn't I? that I would protect you, no matter what._

_And I will, even if we are miles apart. I will make sure that you will live on until you gain freedom._

_I know you will never understand my decision. I know you will loathe me till my very last breath, but I hope that someday you will forgive me._

_That's all I ask of you, Lulu._

 

_Yours,_

_A simple soldier._

 

* * *

 

**.OSTERIA. NIGHT OF THE RANKING.**

_My dear friend Lulu,_

_It took everything within me not to run to you that night._

_I waited behind that old rock by Osteria, I watched you as you fidgeted and paced the church floors, waiting for me._

_I couldn't bear to tell you, Lulu, to send you word that I couldn't go through with it. The guilt was tearing me apart, and I was a coward to face you._

_Believe me, there were minutes where I found find myself doubting my own decision - where I would hold myself from grabbing your arms and running through the gates. But then the King's warning would flood my mind again, and I would find certainty in myself._

_I felt myself crumbling when tears fell from your face when you screamed my name as the guards took you away._

_I wanted to pry their hands from your skin, to spit on their faces for even having touched you._

_The King told me they wouldn't hurt you. He promised._

_I know it will be hard to live in Gaamor, to do his bidding, but you will be alive, Lulu. You will remain alive and someday I will come back and destroy him for ever putting you through this - for ever making me do this to you._

_And then I will take you away, Lulu. This is an oath that is seared to my blood._

_It lives in my memories every second of my breath, Lulu, believe me._

_So go on, Lulu._

_Go on and hate me. Go on and loathe my very name._

_Go on and ignore my presence, because even if it hurts me, even if it breaks me apart every time I see you - I will at least know that you are alive._

_And maybe someday, when we are both free of this - you from your bind and me from my guilt. Maybe then, we can be back to how we were again - maybe then I will see you smile again._

_Maybe then I will tell you how much I care for you. ~~Maybe then I will tell you how much I love you.~~_

_It is all I can hope for._

 

_Yours,_

~~_Sehun_ ~~ _A Simple Soldier_

 

 

 


	3. Pixie and the Siren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baek x Jong x Soo's first meeting when they were young and the start of JongSoo. Told in Soo's POV.  
> Super short but I love these three, so I had to write something about their past together ^_~. I'll probably write more in the future.

 

* * *

  **PIXIE AND THE SIREN**

_Baek x Soo x Jong_

* * *

 

 

_He remembered his first day, walking through the halls and hearing whispers falling from their lips._

_He remembered the cold – the empty stares of disgust as he passed by them one by one._

 

 _They all heard the rumors about him_ _._

 _They all knew_ _what he could do._  

_There was no need to announce his name – his mere presence alarmed them, made them cringe, made them avoid him._

_It didn’t take long for him to blend into the background, to be non-existent in their world._

 

_He made it a habit to hide away during the breaks – to sit in the back so he could watch the clouds swim by outside the window._

_The lectures always carried away endlessly, but despite his own interest in the subject, it was hard to find space to concentrate._

_In those days, the air was always heavy - his chest pressing against its cavity with urgency._

_With every word that carried on, he dived deeper into some distant fantasy where he didn't have it anymore - his useless powers. It helped him to pass the hours, the days, the weeks. It helped him deal with their unsaid words._

_With time, it became a habit and he found comfort it - in never been seen or heard._

 

_He remembered the sixth week of the last month - the mindless chatter and crowds that flooded the courtyard. He remembered listening to the gossip in the markets - it was the news of the century in a small town such as Manoa to have new students in the middle of the semester._

_He remembered slipping through the halls, brushing past excited screams and whispers of curiosity._

_Unlike the others, he didn't glance up when the teacher introduced them - the two un-alike brothers that seemed to capture everyone's interest. He didn't even blink when one took a seat next to him and another in front. By the time the teacher's voice versed into their history book, he was already lost in his own mind - in his own world where he was normal._

_It was the third day that he began to grow irritated by the crowd always fluttering the seat next to him. It was the third day when he dared himself to peek through the mass of bodies, only to catch a flash of a warm smile and a head of golden hair._

_Pixie. That was the word that came to his mind._

_It was the third day that the Pixie turned to him and asked to share his history book with an angelic twinkle in his eye._

 

_From time to time, he found himself watching them - the un-alike brothers. Their conversations took up chapters in his mind and silently he listened to their laughter melding perfectly between each other._

_From time to time, the Pixie would attempt to talk to him - frowning when he remained responsive and beaming every time he chose to answer back. Oddly enough, he found himself slowly spending more time with the two brothers, spending less and less time in his own head._

_From time to time, he found himself wanting whenever the dark-haired brother sat silently beside him. They never had full conversations like he did with the Pixie, but it was simply in the minuscule amounts of time when their eyes met that he found himself drawn._

_Slowly, the world in his head began to melt away._

 

 

_He remembered the sixth week of the last month because it was the day that he had forgotten it all - how to be invisible._

_He remembered sitting in the empty class and relishing in its stillness - his throat struggling to take on some new tune forming in his head._

_He remembered jolting in his seat at the mention of his name - the first time he heard his name spoken in such a way._

 

_"Kyungsoo."_

 

_He remembered his breath catching in his throat - feeling lost in the sea of dark eyes and locks that framed against sun-kissed skin._

_There was a name that always took shape in his head, from the moment the Pixie had introduced his ever-silent brother._

 

_Siren. That was a fitting name for him._

_"Kyungsoo, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school?"_

 

_He remembered the way that picture remained ingrained in his mind, the way his imaginary world crumbled into a million pieces - releasing whatever need he thought he had put away years ago._

_Suddenly, he wanted to be there, truly there - to be engulfed in dark eyes and be the only one holding its gaze._

 

_"There's this place outside the gates that I kinda wanted to show you," The Siren smiled, a flash of teeth and lips parting into breath as he reached out his hand._

 

_Numb, that was the word that took over every feeling in his body and then an overwhelming surge of feeling as he unconsciously took the hand - the warmth of the touch tingling between his fingers._

 

_"Su.." he remembered answering, his own voice hoarse and unprepared, "Sure."_

_"Great!" the Siren beamed, a vastness buried somewhere in the depths of his gaze, "Let's go"_

 

_And he remembered being pulled - the vision of the classroom and halls blurring around him as they ran through the school. He remembered drowning because that was all it took to make him feel alive again - to make him FEEL again._

 

 

  _He remembered the sixth week of the last month because it was the beginning and the end._

_He remembered the sixth week of the last month because it was the first time in his life he didn't want to be invisible ever again._


End file.
